Finding Faith in the Faithful One

Journal Entry
10/31/12

"[ ...] Held in the arms of love... This was the image and words that God gave me as assurance that he had and would continue to sustain me while I was praying and listening to Great Is Thy Faithfulness on the eve of Friday. He did - sustain me. And now as I sit in shock with a heavy heart, the words "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow" seem even more applicable. I just learned that Greg is about to enter hospice care and has been told he has weeks to live. Somehow I naively thought, or rather hoped, that this 5th battle would be no different than the others, that he would emerge alive, a stronger, more faith filled man of God, overflowing with zest for life. I want to have faith that moves mountains like the woman who touched Jesus's garment and was healed through her faith in God's love and inconceivable power. Instead, I find myself pondering questions and crying out for God's mercy all the while believing that science and human logic will prevail. Is praying "thy will be done" a halfhearted faithless act? Is it resigning myself to sit and watch rather than railing at the gates of heaven for change? Where is my faith? Oh God, that you would grant me a mustard seed."

 I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to here' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. -  Matthew 17:20 

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!